Cheers to you on a Monday morning!
No matter how hard the week went, it is always better to start the new week with a new zeal.
I hope your week was more manageable than mine. The experience can be subjective. I can still feel dizziness in my head similar to the aftereffects of a rollercoaster ride, and I can’t blame Vodka itself (tsh tsh)
As I sit down on a late Sunday evening pondering over and reading a few articles and posts I’ve been publishing in the last few months(check here- https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7055192453024296962/), one topic I very closely relate to is why women get overburdened with most things around them. Yes, we are wired so that we can’t think straight, unlike men, who believe in compartments.
The other day I was on an intense call which required all my attention. Suddenly, I excused myself from the call politely and switched off my camera and audio to avoid the unnecessary that was about to occur and paced towards the kitchen. My boys and dogs, ordered to be quiet, came rushing behind me too. I leapt to the gas stove to blow the boiling milk and then switched off the stove. The dogs were excited and thought it was Mamma’s break time to play with them, while the boys stood in dismay and said in a chorus, “Mamma, HOW?”
I just shrugged my shoulders and was back at my desk with a calm and composed smile.
Many of you might be able to relate how only Mamma could smell the boiling milk while all others were clueless. How does Mamma know the kid is about to get a runny nose followed by a fever and starts the precautionary medication? These are just a few examples of I-know-it-before-it-comes; I am sure you’ll have many to mention. I remember in my younger days, I was carefree, happy, chirpy, and always dancing around girl. My attitude and behaviour immediately changed after marriage and even more after I had my boys. How did this happen? Did anyone ask me to become a stupendous homemaker or a mother? The answer is no. Then, what made me so meticulous about everything?
This is called social conditioning.
How many husbands share the sleepless nights after childbirth?
A mother undergoes hormonal changes after childbirth; does anyone register her emotional need?
The way a child experiences everything for the first time after birth; similarly, motherhood is also a new experience.
I understand there are situations where women are “forced” to adorn family duties immediately after marriage, and they accept it not out of choice, but there is no choice. I read a great piece on the gender difference in caregiving published by the National Library of Medicine; it said that Women appear to be more concerned about the emotional well-being of the people they care for. This attachment often motivates them to engage in caregiving.
Many studies have suggested that the caregiving experience differs between men and women.
Female caregivers often have to play multiple roles, such as wives, daughters, mothers, or employees. The pressures of enacting these conflicting roles may create difficulties for women. Role conflicts and role strains may manifest in many ways. Role strain occurs when one cannot meet the expectations and obligations of multiple roles. Role overload sets in when these competing demands overwhelm the person’s ability to carry out his/her role. Role conflicts give rise to several adverse consequences for caregivers, such as physical problems, fatigue, burnout, depression and other emotional disturbances, and feelings of resentment towards the patient. Many studies have found that female caregivers of the elderly with physical problems or dementia experience greater role strain and role conflict than male caregivers. Women appear to experience greater interference and limitations in their work and social life because of their role as caregivers. They are generally believed to experience greater role strain due to the more intense care they provide. Greater role strain in women produces more frequent health problems, a less positive outlook, and a greater need for external support.
After my foot surgery, when I was recommended strict bed rest, my son came from school and rushed to the kitchen, even before checking on me. I heard his footsteps and understood he was searching for a snack. I listened to the bowl and the spoon clanging and his footsteps approaching my room. He sat beside me, his eyes still gazing at the bowl and eating hastily. Once his bowl was half and he appeared full, I asked him why he was so hungry , was his tiffin insufficient. After gulping some water, he paused from his munching and said something that made me cringe. He said, “Mamma, I know you are not allowed to stand, and the cook is also doing an ad-hoc job, but I can’t have what she packs,I just can’t. She is old and I can’t check on what she cooks, it’s not good on my part. I know I can’t cook, but it’s ok Mom.We’ll manage.”
The following day, I was in the kitchen on my walker, much before he could see me cooking. The tiffin box returned empty, and he rushed straight into my room, not the kitchen.
