If you need to raise funds from donors, you need to study them, respect them, and build everything you do around them. – Jeff Brooks
The life of a fundraiser revolves around emotions, life goals, love-hate relationship and in a nut-shell is a roller-coaster experience.
Moving from the banking sector to an entrepreneurial journey, in between realising my deep interest in the social sector and finally landing as a fundraiser, the experience across all domains allowed me to have excellent interpersonal skill, vast network across the globe and above all, terrific experience to work with different kind of people.
Fundraising is an integral part of all the jobs I have ever undertaken till now. The life of a fundraiser is similar to four periods of life as told in Hinduism; the four ashramas are Brahmacharya (student), Grihastha (householder), Vanaprastha (retired) and Sannyasa (renunciate). Adding to the mentioned four Ashrams, here is a life story of a fundraiser named Yo! And his relationship with a donor across all phases of his love life.
Teenage: fluttering eyes
The young, naive and inexperienced teen is on the lookout for a prospective hook. He tries all ways and means to lure that one awesomely looking hot chick. In the process Yo! also works a lot on himself, like on his looks, body and what not to impress that one butterfly who might come and suck the nectar.
Yo! writes emails, drops texts, and roams around the butterfly’s house to get a glimpse. Also, he looks around for references to get in the good books. With a slight hint, Yo! then send a google invite for a “brief” meeting; this is his chance to kill it.
In this phase, He is self-motivated and has ample energy, nothing less than a superhero. He is oozing with confidence, and even the world is not enough.
“As a teenager, you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.” – Fran Lebowitz
First love: go tooth and nail.
The desperate teen left no stone unturned to get all the desired attention, and now he waits with bated breath and I can recall only one dialogue that circling in his mind,
“Agar yeh tujhe pyar karti hai toh yeh palat ke dekhegi … palat … palat!”
And yes!!! He finally gets a nod. It was the happiest day of his life. He was jumping in glee and beaming with joy. He quickly goes ahead with all the plan of action, listens to all the instructions carefully, abides by the rules, processes the information accurately, and attends multiple calls and meetings. Yo! has finally landed into a relationship he desired.
He is seen smiling without reason, dancing as if no one is watching, ready to take as much work as possible for this new relationship to nurture.
This an orgasmic phase of his life, and Yo! is satisfied with all the aspects of his relationship.
Marriage: Just let it go
The initial years of the new relationship were beautiful, and eventually, Yo! gets married. Well! “Marriage” is a self-explanatory term. Like Megan Mullally says, “Spend a few minutes a day listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.”
So, Yo! Did as asked, followed every given instruction, stopped moving out with his friends for a late-night beer, showed up well in time at work, started spending more time with family and proved himself as a well-devoted partner. He showed patience in drafting and redrafting, creating and recreating several documents for the same purpose without a frown. He didn’t mind staying up late a night or getting up early in the morning, listening to his partner’s woes, knowing very well that he’ll be of no help. He knew that he has to nurture this relationship by all means, and he was ready to give whatever it takes.
“To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.”—Ogden Nash.
Mid-Life crisis: enough is enough.
After devoting several years to a relationship, Yo! Successfully managed to pull through all the struggles and hardships. He showed exemplary patience as well in adhering to all the desired expectations.
He had given his heart and soul to nurture the relationship, and here came the point where he felt suffocated.
Overburdened with a new set of expectations each time and responsibilities getting added up one after the other, he wanted a fresh breath.
He had to put his foot down and mark his boundaries. He was assertive in his conduct and with a mind of his own. He was no more ruled or dominated by anyone and was ready to carve his path.
And he did the same.
The apt song here is,
A little discipline
Rent an opinion
Sense of security
Holding blunt instrument
Later phase: latency and inaction
With the spurt of actions during his mid-life crisis Yo! soon landed up as single again. His relationships were fading; even after several attempts, there was no response from anyone. He tried all through his network and previous contacts, but everything went in vain.
No matter how hard he was trying to brew up something, he always landed in a failure. Things were hard and depressing for him.
With a scotch in one hand and holding” how to win friends and influence people” in the other, Yo! found himself heading towards self-discovery. Manna Dey, soft guitar notes or motivational podcasts dominated his playlist.
His existing relationship was almost falling apart, and he had no desire to build up a new one now.
Reliving 60s: new zeal
After battling through all the phases and experiences, Yo! was wise enough to tackle both situations and people. He felt a sense of new life, vigour and energy in him. He had the same charm as in his teenage. He started looking at life from a fresher perspective.
He was no more scared to venture out for new relationships.
He was very clear on marking his boundaries in any new relationships and didn’t hesitate to show a middle finger if things didn’t work out as well.
The new Yo! Revamped his approach, worked on new plans, modified the older ways and worked more on creating a sustainable relationship.
His playlist was back with peppy numbers, and he had no fear of taking risks.
“Nobody grows old merely by living several years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” – Samuel Ullman
Which phase resonates the most with you at this moment?
I believe that the Mantra for fundraising is – People will forget what you said. They will forget what you did. But they will never forget how you made them feel. – Maya Angelou
Build relationships, show empathy, create a plan and go for it!
