Let me be ME

Archive for the ‘#Teenage’ Category

Mindfulness through Art

In this fast-paced world, we lose our cool if the wi-fi is slow. Children hit the panic button if the smartphone screen hangs. Our patience level has gone for a toss, and all of us are aiming quick results.

How to control heightened emotions?

How to manage anxiety?

How to keep uncertainty and fear at bay?

One most crucial practice is Mindfulness.

But, the question yet again that arises is, HOW?

Everyone is not equipped to practice Mindfulness with efficiency and tends to drift our thoughts. It takes several years and many more years of discipline to attain a peaceful state of mind.

Out of several options available, learning art, of any form, helps a lot in calming down an agitated mind.

In my recent workshop on Mandala art, one of the participants asked me that why I insisted on not using the easer? My reply was simple, “concentrate, be patient and make every stroke with absolute precision, and then there will be no scope of using an eraser.”

The goal of art therapy is to utilize the creative process to help people explore self-expression and, in doing so, find new ways to gain personal insight and develop new coping skills.

(Source-https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-art-therapy-2795755#:~:text=Art%20therapy%20is%20a%20technique,and%20work%20on%20social%20skills.)

My analogy and experience regarding the use of art for personal growth is,

When we draw patterns on paper, we are drawing patterns in our minds. The hand-eye coordination helps the brain to stabilize and avoid any diverting thought, thereby increasing concentration. 

Trick: Do not aim for perfection; draw. If you are seeking perfection, then you’ve already lost the joy of the process.

When we avoid the eraser, we are telling our minds not to haste but be very slow and complete the work with precision. It helps in building up patience.

Trick: Use lighter strokes if you are new to the art form so that when you go wrong, you can erase and draw again without leaving a mark. The same applies to life, as well. Be gentle in your process, and try not to leave marks that are difficult to erase.

When we fill the patterns either with designs or colors, we are not leaving any blank space. We are trying to make the pattern look beautiful, helping in limiting ourselves within the boundaries so that the final product doesn’t look messy.

Trick: Stroke in one direction so that the filled colors look uniform. In a way, we are telling our minds to fill the knowledge that is age-appropriate so that it manifests into something outstanding.

So, next time when you sit for an art session either on your own or with your children, then ensure you keep these little pointers in mind. Your experience will be way different and meaningful.

Participants in the workshop. (My father also joined!)
Video

Letter to my teenage boy-Sid

Dear son,

You are now into the most difficult phase of your life where you are neither a lad nor a kid. Your voice is cracking, you have hair here and there everywhere, your taste buds have changed, you have no control over your voice tone, you show mood fluctuations, you are easily stressed and have very short-temper, your liking towards one thinIMG_1300g is not constant, one day you’ll be home from school with all smiles and the other day you won’t even like to look at me ,you can live in one tee and shorts for days, you refuse to obey anything, you don’t even allow me to hug, cuddle or kiss you anymore, your body smell has changed too. I know sweetheart it is a very difficult phase.
But, do you know your mom is facing all these issues since her puberty? Even more after two childbirths where hormones go berserk. Anyhow, you know this happening every month when I am loud enough to say, “just bear with me for a few days, I have my periods!!”
I miss my mom, right here!!!
I truly understand your condition my dear boy and your dilemma in managing this situation. But, you know what darling? It isn’t easy for me too to accept this change.
I am also a human being after all!
I have a level of patience in dealing with all the tantrums.
I have my share of tolerance to bear your high voice pitch and aggression.
I have my threshold to just take all these changes with gritted teeth.
I swear, I am showing my best behavior right now but the hidden emotion is – seethe!
I am also trying and will keep on trying my dear boy to help you pass through this phase but if at some point you find your mother out of place please understand that I am shutting down for a while to regain all the energy, after all, I am now a mother and I don’t have my mom with me to throw all tantrums.
As the saying goes, ” you can’t choose your family” but here I say, THIS IS ALL WE HAVE AND WE HAVE TO FIGHT IT OUT TOGETHER. I had no control in choosing a well-behaved, soft-spoken, very good at studies, medal dangling around the neck, high achiever son(Phew! Glad you are not this type) similarly you had no control in choosing a hyper, over-systematic, time-table-type, organized, disciplined,at-times-short-tempered, over-sensitive mom.
d01cd5d7-01de-430d-94b9-8e8db5ad661dI am trying to be a parent every single day and I know I am doing my level best. I have never put in so much hard work in reading, understanding, and learning during my academic years which I am doing now towards my new subject-phycology!
All this is new for you and it’s new for me too, let’s figure it out together my boy.
And if at any point you think that you can outsmart me then darling let me tell you- I am one hell of a mom who is consciously letting you spread your wings with one flight at a time, I am holding the rope tied to your now-not-so-tiny toes very firmly and letting you flutter to feel around and once you are ready I’ll be ready to cut that rope and let you soar high.
This new year let both of us grow together. Now that you’ve crossed my height, wear my shoes and tees. I promise to stand by you as your strongest pillar without even letting you know, whatta badass mom I am (evil laugh).
Your mood will sway like a pendulum and so will mine(tit-for-tat… yay!!)
I will say just one thing, I love you my sunny boy and I promise to make a man out of you!!!

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