Let me be ME

Archive for the ‘Chidlren’ Category

DHUNTE REH JAOGE-A WINNER WHO IS FAR FROM SOCIAL MEDIA FANFARE: DR.UMA VINOD

“When I first saw the racing arena, zooming cycles, training jargons, and high energy at the event, I was almost hypnotised. I never imagined that such a world existed. I made up my mind that I’ll be a part of all these high adrenaline events.”

Dr.Uma

Meet 47 years old Dr.Uma Vinod. Ahmedabad based Ophthalmologist and a  mother of two boys. First rank holder of Gandhinagar Triathlon 2018 and winner at several cycle racing events(you will not find her on any social media although)

As Dr.Uma says,

I got married immediately after my MBBS and completed my Post Graduation in Ophthalmology.

I was soon engrossed in all motherhood duties, work, and house chores—a typical story for most married women. 

The race euphoria 

In 2012, I participated in my first half marathon and finished in 3.45 hours. I was at cloud nine that I finished the race.

In 2014 I witnessed a cyclothon in Ahmedabad. I was aghast to see the zooming cycles, the cheering crowd, and pumped up, high energy athletes. I was stunned by the entire event. I never imagined the existence of such a world, as if it was a parallel universe.

In the same year, I registered for a super sprint event. The main reason to register for the event was – Milind Soman(blushes).

The race briefing was an eye-opener. I heard the terms like wet-suit, cadence, cut-off timing, and several other jargons that seemed like french. The trainers talked about cycle gear ratio and cleats while I came to participate in the race on my son’s bicycle!

For the event, I got my first BSA “thin” tire bike assuming it’ll make me go faster. Only thin tyres don’t make you win a race but training and effort do.

With all the learnings of the previous event, I got my first road bike and participated in a Duathlon in 2014. I stood first!

By now I was in deep love with cycling. 

I started participating in cycling races and winning too. I was utterly mesmerized by the sheer joy of zooming on the bike and winning as well.

I was a hypothyroid patient until the age of 40, but then I decided to lead a healthy life and gifted myself a significant weight loss.

Do it, because it makes you happy.

In 2015, I went to Manali-Leh biking, and as it is known that the route is not for the lesser mortals. I was surely not the one. It was a life-changing experience for me. It was my zen moment of putting all the elements of the body together and strengthen the mind. 

Winner at Gandinagar Tri 2018

I was gaining expertise in cycling, but my running was still lacking. I started with proper training in 2017. Guided practice, along with a proper diet, helps a lot in improving the training performance.

In 2018 I participated. in the Triathlon in Gandhinagar. Due to fewer women participants, the organizers kept an open category for women 18-55. I stood first in the race!

I then registered myself for the Berlin Marathon in 2019. I was hesitant to go on my own, but my elder son persuaded me to travel. Technology and I don’t have much of a friendship. To navigate the phone to find a way or even to use google translator is tough for me. 

But I did. Because it made me happy, very happy.

says, Dr.Uma

Women in endurance sports- lesser lady

Is it a new discussion? I face the same set of questions each time,

Dr.Uma in one of her training sessions
  • what fun do you get in killing yourself in training?
  • You are always either running or cycling, do you even spend time with your family?
  • Why are you going alone for your races, take your children along too?
  • How will your family manage without you?

I’ll miss cooking a great meal over the weekend, but I’ll never miss my training, this gives me a title of – lesser lady.

Dr.Uma in her training session

I mostly train alone and do not share that moment “ME” with anyone. It is my meditation. My alarm buzzes at 4 am and I go out for my run. Being dark at that hour, I can’t go far for the practice; hence I run in loops at a stretch in front of my building. I have informed my guard that if I don’t turn back within time or he hears my scream, then he should run to trace me. 

There will be questions, allegations, and stereotypes to face, but the choice is yours, either pay heed and remain in your cocoon or be a butterfly. What will you choose?

asks, Dr.Uma

Male dominance and raising boys

I have five males in my family: husband, father-in-law, father, and two boys (18 & 15).

I am a working female, and along with my training and work, the house responsibility doubles up. There were days when I could not prepare the meal, and my boys made their tiffin and went to school. In the growing years, my children understand cohesive existence. They also see that I have a liking towards sports gadgets than fancy clothes.

There was a point where I was fulfilling all my duties as a mother, wife, daughter, professional, but I wasn’t doing anything for myself.

It was a tough call to prioritise my liking over everything else. We live in a society where women are meant to be more focused on home, but

Elder son at IIT Kharagpur

I believe that when you don’t negotiate you’ll never be taken for granted.

Younger son after his first Tri

Today my elder one is studying in IIT Kharagpur and is in the college squash and running team. He is a swimmer as well.

He says, “mom, sports gave me recognition.”

He prefers a girlfriend who loves cycling!

My younger one has already completed a triathlon and is looking forward to more.

Mothers are the first and most significant influencers, see that you prove this to yourself first.

believes Dr.Uma

What lies ahead?

I aim to improve my race timings and keep winning as a mother as an athlete and emerge as a more robust version of myself.

Mindfulness through Art

In this fast-paced world, we lose our cool if the wi-fi is slow. Children hit the panic button if the smartphone screen hangs. Our patience level has gone for a toss, and all of us are aiming quick results.

How to control heightened emotions?

How to manage anxiety?

How to keep uncertainty and fear at bay?

One most crucial practice is Mindfulness.

But, the question yet again that arises is, HOW?

Everyone is not equipped to practice Mindfulness with efficiency and tends to drift our thoughts. It takes several years and many more years of discipline to attain a peaceful state of mind.

Out of several options available, learning art, of any form, helps a lot in calming down an agitated mind.

In my recent workshop on Mandala art, one of the participants asked me that why I insisted on not using the easer? My reply was simple, “concentrate, be patient and make every stroke with absolute precision, and then there will be no scope of using an eraser.”

The goal of art therapy is to utilize the creative process to help people explore self-expression and, in doing so, find new ways to gain personal insight and develop new coping skills.

(Source-https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-art-therapy-2795755#:~:text=Art%20therapy%20is%20a%20technique,and%20work%20on%20social%20skills.)

My analogy and experience regarding the use of art for personal growth is,

When we draw patterns on paper, we are drawing patterns in our minds. The hand-eye coordination helps the brain to stabilize and avoid any diverting thought, thereby increasing concentration. 

Trick: Do not aim for perfection; draw. If you are seeking perfection, then you’ve already lost the joy of the process.

When we avoid the eraser, we are telling our minds not to haste but be very slow and complete the work with precision. It helps in building up patience.

Trick: Use lighter strokes if you are new to the art form so that when you go wrong, you can erase and draw again without leaving a mark. The same applies to life, as well. Be gentle in your process, and try not to leave marks that are difficult to erase.

When we fill the patterns either with designs or colors, we are not leaving any blank space. We are trying to make the pattern look beautiful, helping in limiting ourselves within the boundaries so that the final product doesn’t look messy.

Trick: Stroke in one direction so that the filled colors look uniform. In a way, we are telling our minds to fill the knowledge that is age-appropriate so that it manifests into something outstanding.

So, next time when you sit for an art session either on your own or with your children, then ensure you keep these little pointers in mind. Your experience will be way different and meaningful.

Participants in the workshop. (My father also joined!)

Epiphany#1

The other day a piece of news popped up in TimeHop (an app that shows nostalgic pics/videos). The story was about Sid’s climb to the ThotongLa Pass. It was back in 2018 when we completed the summit. Read a detailed blog here https://momthyname.blog/2018/06/13/annapurna-circuit-5th-19th-march-2018-hiking-with-sid-to-thorong-la-pass5417mts/ Sid was 12- years old and slightly shorter to me in height.

Sid in “My Powai” magazine

We were climbing towards the base of the summit after an acclimatization day. Sid is a natural climber and runner, and he was so thrilled to be climbing higher that he vanished out of my sight within no time. I was having trouble breathing; hence I was climbing slowly but steadily. When I could not spot him for a long time and the “motherhood-syndrome” activated. I was anxious. I kept asking each passer-by(although there were very few) about Sid, mentioning his looks and clothes he was wearing.
Finally, after a long walk, someone told me that he had seen a boy with a similar description upon a rock.

Sid on the way to ThorngLa Pass
Sid merrily balancing between the rocks

I had my stomach churning and suddenly I could feel the bile rising into my mouth. I was fuming in anger now. I speed up my walk and saw Sid balancing himself between two rocks. His palms tightly gripped on one side while feet on the other. He didn’t even bother to acknowledge my presence, nor was he aware that he has committed a “mistake.” As soon as I reached closer to him, he was excited to share his “discovery”. I reluctantly asked him about it. I was still fuming. He went ahead and showed two giant lizards on the rock and told me that he observed them climbing up the cliff.

Sid’s “DISCOVERY”

At that moment, I had no interest in his discovery or observation; I was obvious to make him realize that he has committed a “mistake.”
He could sense my rage but didn’t pay much heed. He said, “mom, I knew you are behind, and I wanted to run ahead. Above all, I know that this is a linear track, so where would I go? You could have worried lesser.”
I wouldn’t say I liked his comment at that moment. But, now, when I sit and think of it, he was correct, and I was getting hyper.


Last year a similar episode happened on our hike in Sahaydris too during monsoons.. He climbed up the slippery rain-drenched hills, and I lost my breath out of fear.

Epiphany #1: Don’t pass on your emotions to your children. They will learn and grow with the right exposure and experience.

Children are born explorers. They have their wild imagination. They are a gift of nature, and nature makes them learn the most critical life-lessons that no textbook ever can. They have a curious mind, which sadly gets tamed and influenced by us.

Sid wanted to be on his own; he knew where it was heading, he knew I was behind him and was confident that he would not wander anywhere, but I tried to instill fear in him out of my insecurity.


Let your children wander
for nature will teach them
Let them explore and feel
and you’ll see them turning into a gem

Don’t let your children dream

Yes, you read it correctly.

Why?

Please don’t let your children dream success, name, fame, followers, money, luxury, or anything that gives them instant gratification. Dreams that foster ego give them a false identity, short term fame, and acquired credit does more damage than good to their personality.

Each child is born with lots of imagination and creativity; don’t tame their childhood.

“The greatest legacy one can pass on to one’s children, and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one’s life, but rather a legacy of character and faith.”

Think about it.

Name and fame

The high- achiever feeling

The short term fame that children are aiming these days is not just dangerous but extremely hampering their growth too.

Youtube subscribers, Instagram followers, pinned at Pinterest, are just a few examples of a false ego boost. They feel the burnout very soon.

Each parent wants to see their child succeed, and if he/she brings them fame, then it boosts the parent’s ego as well, isn’t it? ‘ 

Recognition at school, medals dangling, certificates in hand, scholars badge on the blazer, wow! It looks amazing. There is no argument that the child has worked hard for all the accolades, but I am very sorry to counter-argue this statement.

Ask yourself. After so much of recognition, are you or your child prepared to face any failures?

Do they hang out with friends regularly?

Do they go out and sweat and play?

Do they have bruised knees to understand how it feels?

Are you raising them as dainty girls and rough boys only?

Aren’t you silently happy about the fame they bring to you?

If more answers are yes, then your child is in serious trouble.

Life is not flowery as you’ve made for them.

Young children are writing books /novels and sitting in closed rooms, in front of their tabs and typing for hours and days while they should be getting burned in the sun and playing outside.

Young girls are posting videos with suggestive poses while they should be exhibiting innocence.

Boys are learning abusive languages from online games.

And there are any more examples.

Who is at fault?

Our children are not at fault.

We parents make a mistake here. Our children are watching us every moment. If they see power, money, luxury with no discomfort, they’ll start aiming for such life because they are far from reality. 

How to enable them to make wiser decisions?

Let them fight their own battle. Please enable them to earn respect and followers from their sincere effort. Make them participate in an online essay or story writing competitions and win accolades, rather than you helping in vanity pub.  

Push them to chase the finish line in sweat and dirt. Let them fall, roll in the mud, and come back home with soiled clothes than perfectly clean uniforms.

What’s a good dream?

Yes, they do!

Children should be encouraged to dream of happiness, love, and empathy.

Make then chase butterflies, run in the wild, take those untrodden trails, play in the sun, lets their knees get bruised, let them sweat, play with strays, laugh loud, be as free a bird in the sky.

Make them share their knowledge, allow them to volunteer, and let them gain recognition by their humility. Involve them in gardening. Let them see the beauty of a growing plant from a seed. Read autobiographies. Watch cartoons and roll on the floor laughing with them.

Go out, go out, I beg of you.

And taste the beauty of the wild.

Behold the miracle of the earth

With all the wonder of a child.

 ~ Unknown

Run and chase in the wild

Children will see what we show them. Our dreams considerably influence them.

We have to show them magic and then believe in theirs.

Sharing some links for reference read,

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-trenches/201106/the-child-performer
  2. https://www.insider.com/youtuber-top-career-choice-for-us-kids-teens-2019-8
  3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/food-thought/201310/the-ugly-side-child-fame-jonbenet-corey-feldman
This beautiful childhood

Stretch-marked Mommy

“Ma’am, may I please ask you something” he dropped a text hesitantly
“Go ahead, please,” I replied.
In most humble tone, he asked, “ma’am that picture you posted on the Instagram story………..”
And,
Before he said anything ahead, I knew what it was about!
I respected his approach and listened to him patiently, and then with all the courtesy ended the exchange of messages.

Why am I mentioning this conversation?


Because there is a big misconception between fitness and six-pack abs. Ok, fitness and a super toned body to make it simpler.


Fitness is a state of mind.
Fitness is a life long journey and not a temporary goal. The results you want to achieve takes dedication, discipline, and, most importantly, consistency. Pushing yourself out every single day, wearing your running shoes, and hitting out for a run or a workout is the toughest thing a mind can do.


Each one has a different fitness goal too. For me, fitness is to stay active and build up the much-needed stamina, which I almost lost after two kids.
Each body is different and comes from a separate gene pool too.


I gained much more than the average weight in both my pregnancies. I had pregnancy-induced hypothyroidism and excessive water retention as well. As the skin stretched too much, I got return gift for life- stretch marks all over my tummy, inner arms, thighs, breasts, butts basically all over the body other than the face, Phew! That was some respite.


My sincere fitness journey started in 2015 when I was called as a “FAT SLUT” in my running group.


I am really grateful for naming me as it only made me push harder every single time and going much higher than what my body and mind could ever imagine.


The conversation at the beginning of the blog is in context to a post on Instagram where my loose belly is visible.https://www.instagram.com/momthyname/
The gentleman questioned me that even though I work out a lot, have an athletic physique, but still, why do I have a loose tummy?
Honestly, I didn’t feel awkward, I was calm and patient in listening to all the advice given. But didn’t give any explanation.


My thighs have celluloid, and my tummy has sagged a lot with that little tiny bulge.
So, should I hide it or feel ashamed about it?
No, not at all.
I don’t hide my stretch-marked loose baby tummy, but I proudly flaunt it. I have no shame in exposing my return gift.

Plank and the fall of the tummy 🙂


When I get into a plank position, my belly hangs, but I still do it.
When I get into squats, the celluloid of my inner thighs bulge out, but I still do it.
And I shall continue lifting those heavyweights, hang on bars, run long distances and plank longer.


I am surrounded by fantastic motivation that I am in total awe of these everyday fighters who are defying the stereotypes.


I know a new mom who works out every single day and holds her baby in her arms as the weight for squats.
I know heavyweight people who have completed their triathlons out of sheer determination.
I know many heavy females who are podium finishers in cycling and swimming and would leave the leaner ones far behind.
I know single mothers who have made their mark on the fitness journey while raising their children and also looking after their mental health.
I know of couples working out together and pushing each other irrespective of age and situation.


My running and ironman forum is filled with stories of extreme mental strength, and the body type doesn’t play any role there.


I didn’t feel the need to reply to the gentleman about his worry, query, and advice on my stretch-marked loose tummy because I knew that he has also correlated fitness with a body type.


My one hour of daily workout and the sweat all over my body is my way of meditation, it is my burnout, and it is a constant reminder to my mind to never ever give up.


So, all you beautiful mommies, your stretch marks are gorgeous, your loose belly is terrific, and you don’t need a corset to even it out. Your cellulite has nothing to with your inner beauty.


If at any point someone attempts to body-shame you, then remember, you have a middle finger!!


Give me a high five, “stretch-marked mommies”.

Staying fit is a happy state of mind

Motherhood dare

My dear teen,
You know you are so terribly annoying
That you are dragging me into a phase where I’ve never been.
I am recording, registering and downloading every episode,
In my drive, iCloud and memory with code.
I will take full revenge in this life-time
B’coz, you know Karma will come up sometime.
I will come to your house with a grumpy face
I will not talk or smile and will sit in one place.
I will throw my footwear and clothes everywhere
And mind if you ask me to keep in place
I will scream, roll my eyes, bang the door, and make a disgusting face.
I will leave the bathroom wet and towel on the bed
Dare you question me
Coz I’ll hiss without a miss.
I’ll put all types of demands
And maa Kasam if you deny
I’ll create such a ruckus
That I’ll drive you mad
Once the dinner is cooked
I’ll ask you to order food
Food that I like
Be it pizza or jalebi with malai
You are testing my limits and patience
But god forbid if it crosses my tolerance.
Then it’ll be only Tsunami and earthquake
So behave yourself for heaven’s sake.
No, I don’t want to say,” I love you, darling.”
C’coz currently you are terribly annoying
Karma, my dear boy, Karma
Wait and watch
Wait and watch
For your mom will turn into a witch
I’ll wail and grin as I grow old
And poor boy-your teen will come forth multifold
Revenge…I smell revenge….
Hu..hu..ha..ha..he..he.

Jani Dushman: Sibling Rivalry

Whosoever said that having one child makes you a parent and having two you are a referee, was so correct.

Mommy, he is staring at me
Mommy, he is saying bad words to me
Mommy, he has taken my pen
Mommy, he is very selfish
Mommy, he is a dumbhead
Mommy, he thinks he knows everything
And it goes on!

The house is no more a lovely and peaceful place: fistfights, power play, teasing, bullying, nasty words, provoking, and then the blame game.
No matter how hard I try, I am always bad. The comments, “you favor big bro more than me,” or “he is young so no one will say anything to him” come dashing each time.
I am the youngest sibling of two elder brothers, and I’ve been tried and tested of all WWF moves, so it’s fun to watch a bit of my childhood but, it isn’t delightful, especially when heavens break loose at bedtime.
I completely disown them and even their sight is a sore to the eyes.
At times I wonder that I gave birth to two enemies who have come to this world to fight their animosity with each other than two loving siblings.

Abhi trying to push away Sid

Sibling rivalry is a natural behavior, and we, as parents, have to bear the brunt of it regularly. One child will always blame for favoring the other one.
Can we say that our right arm is better than the left or vice versa? But children don’t understand this, and at times more than anyone else, people around make us feel guilty.
Every child is different, and every family is different. Parents know the best how to handle their children. We may be wrong at times, but we are also graduating as parents and have our own set of learnings.
Sibling rivalry at one point is healthy, but when not appropriately addressed can lead to extreme results like hatred or jealously.

Sharing a few tactics which I adopt and keep tweaking them constantly, see what suits you the best:

Praise tactfully
The child who is doing well, be it in academics or extra curriculum, will surely crave praising be it in the social circle or from the family. It is also advisable to appreciate to build up the confidence and trust in your child. But you have to define your limits here. Like, “darling, your paintings are commendable, and we are very proud of you, but I was also wondering that why don’t we start with our evenings walks regularly?” (or any new habit which you think will benefit your child)
you are also allowed to ignore the accomplishments once in a while.
When the child points out that, “mom, you don’t even appreciate my work.”
You have to reply with a smile and hug, “dear, I definitely do, but if you are seeking appreciation each time, then I am not game. I want you to do stuff for your happiness and not to gain recognition. You are my child; I believe in your capabilities.”

Here it is crucial to involve the other sibling in all these conversations and give him/her constant attention.

Set boundaries (I fail here -majorly)

My boys get too much into a fist fight, throw, drag, punch mode. Many times it takes a nasty turn. They also get into the teasing-to-a-limit phase, where the other one gets wild and then becomes uncontrollable. Here I have to set boundaries not to use hands and legs to talk, or if the other person is not liking, then the tussle has to stop or total ban on the usage of few words.
Children need to be reminded continuously that one has to respect other persons tolerance limits. They forget it, miss it, do not register it, but they’ll remember it subconsciously(I can only remain hopeful-pun intended)

Do not get involved
When children fight, let them. Like I always tell me, boys, fight until the blood oozes, or if they start any argument in a public place, I suggest to “fight like hooligans, roll on the floor and get into a punch-me-hard game it’s much fun to watch then.”
If they come to you to sort the issue, then you must have a simple answer, “I didn’t ask you to start the fight, then why should I resolve”.
Be ready to hear harsh things after this.

Expectations vs reality
everyone loves a high performing, well mannered and above all a pleasing child. But each child is different, so if the other child doesn’t fit into what-the-society-demands, then be it. We expect both children to be cordial and work in unison, but the reality is different, accept it, and respect your child’s individuality. It would help if you corrected him/her subtly for the unruly behavior in the best possible way your child will understand.

respect your child’s individuality
Doing crazy things together is important

Lets-be-together-time
Involve children into a common activity which they like or as a family. Here I do not mean watching a movie or a seven-star holiday. An activity that involves conversation motivates each other and has lots of laughter. Go for short walks, cycle ride, play a game, go hiking on trails, do wall painting, activities that involve body movement.

There are several sub-tactics as well, which we keep trying and testing. We all want to raise happy children, and if we have to do that, then the base criterion is that we as parents should be happy first and emote that joy and happiness on our children.

लड़ते झगड़ते कब यूँ ही बड़े हो गये

पता ही नहीं कब बड़े हो गये

अब लगता है वो झगड़ना ही अच्छा था

रो लेते ,मार पीट कर लेते

फिर भी कोइ बुरा नहीं मानता था

भाई चिड़ाहकर और माँ प्यार से मना ही लेती थी

बचपन के वो झगड़ते ही अच्छे थे

रूठना मनाना हंसना रोना बस चलता रहता था

Happy parenting and chin up referees .
Boom bang…there is a battle on yet again.

Children’s Day: for you, my boys

I started running in 2014
I started running when I had given up on myself, was hopelessly hopeless, overweight, in inferior health form, when my legs used to wobble even at the shortest distance.
I got into proper and systematic training along with a monitored diet from 2017. A disciplined life without a single day of excuse come what may change my entire form for both body and mind.
Today in 2019, when I see my medal hanger, I cheer for myself,” Disha, you didn’t give up- not at all.”


As I write this piece on children’s day, I feel overwhelmed as deep within, and I know that my children are my strength. At every finish line, I virtually see loved ones. I hug them and always raise my arms to be grateful for surrounding me with so much innocent love.


My boys have seen me in my pain,
they have seen me crying,
they have seen me drained out after an event,
seen me sweating,
they have seen me eating sensibly,
they have seen my ice packs on swollen muscles,
they have seen my bruised knees,
they have seen my operated arm,
they have seen my fear of OWS(Open Water Swim) and Sid giving me tips as, “mom, just jump.”

The last push during the labor or the feel of that prick in a C-sec has no match to the smile I waited to see.
All that pain, discomfort, and the agony of that deformed body vanishes as soon as that tiny little thing is handed over, saying “your” baby.
As you both are growing up and I see a little bit of him and me in you, but I want you to grow up as only YOU.
You make me learn and grow each day.
You teach me how to love unconditionally. No matter we fight, scream and have a difference of opinion but you get up to hug me the same way each morning.


I strive to be a better human being each time because I know you are silently watching me.


I strongly believe in human relations, and you are tiny messengers of god himself. Someone who listens to me provides me strength in need and loves me beyond without being judgemental.
I fail several times in your expectations, but still, you never demean me. I have cried so many times in front of you, I have shared my failures with you and you boys stand with me like my most significant pillar of strength.
You boys make me push my boundaries because I know I need to match with your pace and energy; after all, the mother of boys cannot be at rest.


Thank you for calling me mom.
Thank you for coming to me as my babies
Thank you for giving me immense mental strength
Thank you for all fights, bouts, back answering yet ending with cuddles and warm hugs


Thank you, Sid ,Abhi and Tango


Happy children’s day to all of you and hug your kids a bit tighter today as many don’t have this privilege

Bull’s eye

After a very long time, I got an opportunity to watch something other than Marvel, Avengers, or those heavily animated movies. I don’t say that they are all crap, but for the sake of family time, we end up watching what the boys demand.

This weekend I had time for myself, and we decided to go for Sandh ki Ankh. watch the trailor https://youtu.be/-uA-ONin_5M

Bollywood lover in me was wholly engrossed in the movie, and as ever, I also assumed myself as one of the characters in the film. The movie plot comes to life, and whatever goes on screen seems to be happening with me as well.

This movie, Sandh Ki Ankh, is amazingly gripping, talks about the determination, struggle and fight for daily survival as well as personal existence of women living their life under the veil with no permission to express their opinion too.

I have been to one such village in one of my field visits and even stayed overnight at lady sarpanch’s house. I could relate to the situation. Check the video below, and this is the place I’ve stayed. https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-asia-india-37701026/the-indian-women-refusing-to-wear-veils

The movie revolves around a typical village family and how men treat women. Women are nothing more than the cattle in the house and an object of desire for men. The plot changes when accidentally two grandmothers of the house discover their talent and expertise in shooting. It is quite interesting to watch how they manage to move out of the house to participate in shooting competitions even when they were not allowed to step outside their village all these years. They were now keen to train their daughters for this sport, and then the entire story shows their battle against the taboos and society. They wanted their daughters to lead a meaningful life. 

A life of purpose, passion, and above all, a life that gives them their identity.

“Yes, I’m a feminist because I see all women as smart, gifted, and tough.” ~ Zaha Hadid

The movie shows the daring of a woman. All the instances in the film clearly state the power a woman holds within her. I have always been a firm believer in the power of mind. I also believe in the transfer of energy.

When Sid(my elder son) went for boarding, he was unable to adjust despite being in an experiential environment and very cooperative teachers. It was difficult for even me back home as I missed him on all occasions and family outings. It was terrible. When I met his school counselor, she told me to “release” him

I pondered over it for a long time and realized that my love is binding him, and I am somehow transferring my insecurities to him. I started working on my circle of energy consciously, but somehow he gave up and was back home with us in the family.

Since then, I am very cautious about the kind of energy I am creating around because I know that Sid would be absorbing my vibes.

“When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.” – Sophia Loren

The movie also said a similar story. The daughters absorbed the hardships of the females around them. What also came along was intense energy and self-power.

Bringing up children and instilling values is the duty of both parents. Still, as per my opinion and observation (views can vary ), a mother plays a vital role in the emotional well-being of a child.

A mother is a creator, and she has the power of the universe within her. She has the capability of nurturing and forming a complete human being from her own body- so, imagine how much strength she beholds.

“A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture, and transform.” ~ Diane Mariechild

Right now, as I write this blog, I feel actively responsible for my boys. Children learn a lot by just observing. At every point, one has to be careful and conscious of their actions as somehow, children are silently watching us. Having said this, it doesn’t mean that we fake – well! They are smarter, and they read this too. But, we can genuinely try to adopt the same behavior that we want in our children.

“Men are what their mothers made them.”

Whenever I think about “children observing me,” I keep humming, 

Every breath you take

Every move you make

Every bond you break

Every step you take

I’ll be watching you

A man and a woman may differ in physical strength, that’s how nature has done the creation, but the immense mental power a woman holds is unmatched. 

Rani Laxmi Bai – Grit

Mother Teresa – Humility

Helen Keller – Making the impossible possible

Nur Jahan- Only female Mugal ruler

Aisan Daulat Begum – major contributor in creating Babur’s personality

And I can go on quoting several examples, who have played a vital role in bringing in the major transformation in their family and society.

For any mom who feels even for a moment that there is no energy left or you don’t have any vital role to play anymore then please go and watch Sandh Ki ankh, because it’s a reminder to direct my and your energy to hit the bullseye.

Video

Letter to my teenage boy-Sid

Dear son,

You are now into the most difficult phase of your life where you are neither a lad nor a kid. Your voice is cracking, you have hair here and there everywhere, your taste buds have changed, you have no control over your voice tone, you show mood fluctuations, you are easily stressed and have very short-temper, your liking towards one thinIMG_1300g is not constant, one day you’ll be home from school with all smiles and the other day you won’t even like to look at me ,you can live in one tee and shorts for days, you refuse to obey anything, you don’t even allow me to hug, cuddle or kiss you anymore, your body smell has changed too. I know sweetheart it is a very difficult phase.
But, do you know your mom is facing all these issues since her puberty? Even more after two childbirths where hormones go berserk. Anyhow, you know this happening every month when I am loud enough to say, “just bear with me for a few days, I have my periods!!”
I miss my mom, right here!!!
I truly understand your condition my dear boy and your dilemma in managing this situation. But, you know what darling? It isn’t easy for me too to accept this change.
I am also a human being after all!
I have a level of patience in dealing with all the tantrums.
I have my share of tolerance to bear your high voice pitch and aggression.
I have my threshold to just take all these changes with gritted teeth.
I swear, I am showing my best behavior right now but the hidden emotion is – seethe!
I am also trying and will keep on trying my dear boy to help you pass through this phase but if at some point you find your mother out of place please understand that I am shutting down for a while to regain all the energy, after all, I am now a mother and I don’t have my mom with me to throw all tantrums.
As the saying goes, ” you can’t choose your family” but here I say, THIS IS ALL WE HAVE AND WE HAVE TO FIGHT IT OUT TOGETHER. I had no control in choosing a well-behaved, soft-spoken, very good at studies, medal dangling around the neck, high achiever son(Phew! Glad you are not this type) similarly you had no control in choosing a hyper, over-systematic, time-table-type, organized, disciplined,at-times-short-tempered, over-sensitive mom.
d01cd5d7-01de-430d-94b9-8e8db5ad661dI am trying to be a parent every single day and I know I am doing my level best. I have never put in so much hard work in reading, understanding, and learning during my academic years which I am doing now towards my new subject-phycology!
All this is new for you and it’s new for me too, let’s figure it out together my boy.
And if at any point you think that you can outsmart me then darling let me tell you- I am one hell of a mom who is consciously letting you spread your wings with one flight at a time, I am holding the rope tied to your now-not-so-tiny toes very firmly and letting you flutter to feel around and once you are ready I’ll be ready to cut that rope and let you soar high.
This new year let both of us grow together. Now that you’ve crossed my height, wear my shoes and tees. I promise to stand by you as your strongest pillar without even letting you know, whatta badass mom I am (evil laugh).
Your mood will sway like a pendulum and so will mine(tit-for-tat… yay!!)
I will say just one thing, I love you my sunny boy and I promise to make a man out of you!!!

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