Let me be ME

Archive for January, 2019

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Managing 24 hrs !!!!

People close to me are very well aware of my continuous ranting, 
“I don’t have time to complete what all I desire to perform.”
“even twenty-four hours seem less to me”, 
I need to work on my schedule better”, etc.
Time management is an invariable issue with me. Not that I am a terrible planner, in fact, I am described as a ruthless planner and also termed as a time table even a clock!
The other day a friend told me, “why are you organized? Just allow it to lose, detach yourself”
I nothing but looked at him, expressionless, although felt like gripping his shoulders, shake him hard and screamI-AM-A-WORK-FROM-HOME-MOM-MOTHER-OF-TWO-BOYS-AND-A-DOG-I-HAVE-TO-LOOK-AT-EVERY-MINUTE-DETAIL-IF-I-MISS-ANY-THEN-WILL-YOU-COME-AND-TAKE-OVER?
Nevertheless, while I was juggling with all these thoughts this morning while on my training run, I made up my mind to give a considerable thought on my time management.
I primarily don’t get the luxury to sip my tea and glance at the newspaper but today I did. After turning a few pages I came across an article and my eyes popped out, it read- Mother, Runner, Champ”.
(check this link;https://mumbaimirror.indiatimes.com/opinion/columnists/supriya-nair/mother-runner-champ/articleshow/67761882.cms)
No brownie points for guessing why? 🙂
read through the whole article and sat stunned and dismayed.
35 year old, Jasmin Paris won the Spine race of 432 km ultra running challenge. What makes it special is that she, in addition, is a mother of a 14-month-old baby. In her three days of running challenge, she slept for five hours and stopped barely to eat and express milk. Less was written about her routine but it did mention that she is a professional runner and gets up at 5 am to train hard before she gets on her professional and personal duties.
Stunned?
I was, and I am still tremendously inspired. My current expression is –Wow!!
I next looked at myself and thought what I am complaining of?
I have help at home, and my children are big enough to manage stuffI am not a breastfeeding mother, I enjoy the liberty to manage my work and travel hours and daysmy entire ecosystem is in place, yet I am complaining that I can’t manage my time?
Utter shame on me.
Well, after giving birth to children our routine changes dramatically. 
For me, my days are always arduous. Right from the morning, each activity has to be timed. I have to schedule my training in such a way that I don’t miss out on the planuse of the productive hours until the boys are in the school, finish major calls and work until then, once they are back the dynamics of the house changes. Fight, argue, discuss, shout, school work, classes, meals, stroll for Tango, cooking instructions, menu decision and the list is endless. It does get exhausting but then there is no way out.
Each one of us receives twenty-four hours in a day but how we manage and plan generates the difference.
I am in total awe of this mother who did not give up on her training even while she is breastfeeding.
Our prioritieslifestyle, the way of living, thought process, body strength changes drastically after having children, it is therefore easy to produce excuses and not follow a routine because it is doesn’t take much to be lazy. It takes an effort and a whole lot of will to stand up, plan and execute. We as a mother also get into the guilt zone very quickly, at times on our own and sometimes forced by society and family. I give constant reminders to myself that, I am trying to do my best, I do commit mistakes but under any given conditionI am not deterring from my parental duty.
I follow some strategies to generate  the maximum from a day
* Plan the day in advance
* Write down meals menu of the week and lunch boxes every Sunday eve(I fret over this.)
*Write down every single thing to be done the night before
*Swap the training routines if need be but ensure you don’t miss out any (refers to who are into endurance sports)
*Prioritise the to-do list
*Gracefully quit the social circle that doesn’t add value to your life
*Instruct children to arrange bags etc. the night before
*Get children into the habit of setting the alarm and getting up on their own
*Set children‘s routine as well
*Get some time for yourself before you retire for the day
*Finish major tasks like shopping, grocery during the week so that you have enough family time during the weekend
*If you miss out on some tasks then just take a deep breath and relax(this is for me.)
We all have situations to tackle and our own set of worries too but if this mother of a toddler can do then we all can do it too.
Grit, disciplineconsistency; that’s all we require to move any mountain!
Right now, I want to scream the loudest.
How’s the Josh,?
Very high!!

That’s all is needed!

Second family: cracking the code

Relationships,
isn’t this is the “only” connect which is making the human race survive? Or I should say letting everything and everyone survive?
Humans need bond so does the universe and anything which is into existence.
We all live, work hard, strive, struggle to be in relation either with a partner or self.
We hug, cuddle and express love to our children, at times they respond in a very affectionate way and sometimes they don’t and at times they just don’t like to be touched (like my teenage boy) but do we stop our expression and leave them on their own?
No!
Why?
Because we can’t stay without them, they are our breath, our energy, part of us (you read  the exaggerated versions at FB )
But, do we follow the same for our second family too?
My day one of this new year started with my trip to Kolkata to my in-law’s place. I wanted to visit my father-in-law as he wasn’t keeping well for a while and with boys having their winter break on, it turned out to be family trip.
My father-in-law also had his 74th birthday during our stay period and I wanted to celebrate his day (I just need a reason to celebrate anyhow). So, I invited both my father-in-law’s and mother-in-law side of the family. It’s a nice big clang (which I miss at my side). It was a wonderful gathering. We ordered cake, food, decorated the house with balloons. With everyone around the house was filled with lots of chatter and laughter.

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Baba’s 74th birthday

I loved every bit of this gathering where all of us were together.
It was amazing to see my father-in-law’s expression. He was elated by the celebration and said, “I never had such a wonderful birthday ever”. I felt equally wonderful.
The very distinguishing feature of my visit to Kolkata is, there are times when I am unable to speak their language fluently and they are unable to speak mine. I can’t eat their choice of food and they don’t eat mine but that doesn’t deter us from having a good time together.

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Baba and yours truly

A beautiful bond is much ahead than all this.
At times I wonder how did I pull through all this? Getting married into a totally different culture where we could not even communicate properly was not an easy journey.
Language, food preferences, culture, habits, way of living, thought process, expectations were totally opposite to my upbringing.
But I decided on two things;
First, stay the way I am and,
Second, don’t give up

I believe I observed relationships very closely right from my childhood. How?
I come from a very basic family. My father retired as a government servant and mother was always a housewife. I haven’t seen big money ever, never experienced it as well. But what I saw was my mother ’s sincerity in taking care of my grandparents (although I was very young then and have a very faded memory of this). I have also seen my mother’s selfless dedication towards the family. I have seen my father’s anger, discipline, meticulous working, love, and care towards his family, OUR family.
As a child, I never understood the relationship between my mother and her in-laws but now I can understand and feel for her. I never heard her complaining about anything but what I saw was her effort to take utmost care and give them respect. It wasn’t easy for her at all. I now know it so well.
Today, when I see my equation with my second family, I thank my mother for it.
I am an atheist so religion, temple, idol worshiping doesn’t attract me but I am very emotional and sensitive when it comes to relationships. Relations are my religion.
After fifteen years of my association with my second family I am glad that my mother-in-law waits for my call, the first phone ring on their special occasions and they know it’s me, they also listen to my complaints towards their son (ok, sometimes but they do), they understand my point of view as well, they understand my love and respect towards them. We still have the difference of opinions but we don’t take it to the heart.
Why?
Because I didn’t give up and I never will.
“Relationships happen and shape up well, only and only if you are willing to make them happen. “

The Big Bangla family

The Big Bangla family

 

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