Past few months have been a whirlwind. Traveling, work, new projects, children, household chores, exams, assignments, new decisions, maid change (count this as significant) and what not. At one point when I was about to reach my final destination, I stood for a while before I moved out of the craft to sensibly understand where I have landed. Dazed.
But, as I travel and meet people from all over the world, being a parent, I tend to look at the parenting pattern very carefully.
I understand that none of us were born with the parenting skills, it’s a gradual learning process and we also fail at times miserably.
All said and done we Indians are way too much overwhelmed by parenting and proving ourselves to be the most doting, careful, cautious, over the top, set-an-example, my-child-the-best kind of parents.
It’s suffocating at times to see how much overboard parents can go.
We are creating a breed of robots. Let me explain how,
How much time does a child need to devote for studies? – The mother decides(we are the villains always)
Which hobby class a child should go? Mother decides
Vacation destination- Father, decides
Vacation budget/ class/ luxury – Father decides
Which color clothes suit the child better – Mother decides
Food quantity in the plate or appetite – Cook/ maid/ mother decides
Even to go to a shortest distance – driver, right on the doorstep
Assignments/ projects – Father or mother depending upon the creativity skills
How much free time ?- Mother decides
Which food to eat or not? Mother decides with the help of google search
Phew! Where is the child using his or her brain?
Every small decision is verified, cross-checked and then finally passed by the higher authority.
Where have you given your child a chance to make a mistake?
First, we as parents show them and indulge them in all the luxuries of life and then we expect them to learn the value of money, understand hardships and learn about life. Who is at fault?
Someone recently told me about an affluent female having all the necessities, luxuries at the tip of her fingertip, the husband involved in business did not bother about giving the real life (to make his life more comfortable). Their children also grew the same way. These wonderfully traveled, globetrotters, internationally exposed family don’t even know how to get petty things done like filling forms for school etc, doing basic banking stuff, buying groceries and many more to say(excuse being- what is the need?)
Sadly, they have turned into vegetables. What a waste of human life.
Who is at fault?
Well, everyone has a different outlook towards parenting and bringing up children, but I genuinely believe that each child should be brought up like a human being and not as an over-protective girl or a carefree boy.
Children need to learn the basics of life.
They must understand discipline and hard work
They must value time.
They should have an opinion of their own.
They must learn to wait for gifts, things or goodness in life.
Keep it only in your mind that children are the centre of your universe, if you put this in action, they grow up in a fairy tale world and disaster happen when they face the real world.
We must aim to raise spiritually awakened children than materialistic followers.
I read somewhere, and I have adopted this majorly whenever I deal with my boys:
“A father(read parent) is a true father only when he has raised his children to survive without him.”