Let me be ME

Archive for May, 2018

How much is too much?

This summer has been quite enlightening for me. I traveled less for work, had minor work engagements, curbed my desire to climb another mountain and dedicated myself entirely to boys. Not complaining at all, I am enjoying my time with two super energy bombs, but now I feel like disowning them. I had an overdose of everything.

Too much love

Too much attention

Too many WWE matches

Too much mess in the kitchen

Too much, “mamma, he is hitting me.”

Too many demands of “good” food

Too much to and fro from swimming classes

Too much of hearing my pet name – mamma

Too much of refereeing

Too much of being an encyclopedia of anything, everything, and nothing

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But again, there is always a this and that side of everything. I have cribbed enough of that side now let me talk about this side.

I spend very quality time with my boys. We fought, argued, got miffed with each other but then we had a fantastic silent understanding as well. I was without help for almost a month(it’s a very BIG thing), and these boys were just too good at housework. Right from folding their sheets, to changing towels in the bathroom, they did everything. During this course, I also came to know that my elder son, who will be a teenager soon has a little soft corner for someone. I was delighted as well as surprised. Then we had a great conversation on this subject, and he gladly opened with me, although being an introvert child. I loved our connect as well as the disconnect.

Second amazing thing I would like to mention is our discussion on how much is too much? Yes, you heard it right, let me explain.

With the onset of the holiday season, everyone is going all over the world. Mullas are pouring in, and a foreign destination is no more a luxury. But inevitably few don’t fail to make it further luxurious, with best airlines and aircraft, most luxurious hotels, five-star cruise and not just one but multiple vacations in a year. These days’ children also talk about the number of countries visited. My boys asked me too, “mom where are we going for summer break?” Well, our summer break is always either Dadi or Nani house, so I took them to Nani house.

 

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Boys with their cousins and Nana

 

There came another demand, “mom, can we fly business class please?” .. please was repeated to the power of infinity. I tried to explain that it is a short flight and they won’t enjoy it much. But, my explanation went unheard. Thanks to my extensive travel I had enough miles to redeem hence I got them upgraded to business class. They beamed with joy, and their eyes all lit up. I was more than satisfied. But as I handed them their boarding pass mentioning “business,” I told them, “boys, this has come from the all the pains that I have taken to travel, and it’s earned and not gifted.” They nodded their head silently.

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Younger one thanked me several times, and I got many hugs and kisses too.

After they were done with the travel and satiated with their “business class” feeling I asked them about how they felt. Boys answered in sync – ” It was awesome, mamma.”

Then came the motherhood Gyan, “Boys, I was able to do it because I earned the miles don’t expect that I’ll be doing every time. It’s a hard-earned effort.”

Boys replied, “we understand mamma, all this stuff costs a lot of money. We would like you to take us on mountains than in business class.”

Oh wow!!! I have arrived and achieved.

I couldn’t thank my boys enough and hugged them tightly.

I ended my day by wondering, how much is too much when it comes to giving experience, exposure, and life learning lessons to our children. Read what I wrote on this earlier:Experience over gift to your children

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Shouldn’t we focus on raising spiritually enlightened children than just providing them everything on the platter?

Shouldn’t we make them realize the value of everything they have in life than just giving them away even when they don’t demand it?

Shouldn’t we make them wait and crave for things thereby silently teaching them how to earn their desires?

Shouldn’t we toughen them mentally as per their level so that they can face hard realities of life later on?

I believe there is no age for spiritual awakening, we might not see instant results, but few life learning experiences stay with them all through their life.

How much is too much, take your call.

Spiritual awakening what kind of world

 

102 or not but NEVER out

As an ardent Bollywood fan and especially Amitabh Bacchan I could have never missed 102 not out.
What a delightful movie! I loved every bit of the hours spend munching mandatory popcorn and sipping the latte.
I had a word with few friends who watched the movie, and everyone had different perceptions. Few said they were delighted to see the father-son relationship while few liked how well a father understood his son and helped him to overcome his weaknesses.
Let me share my take away of 1hour 40 minutes dedication and investment in tickets and compulsive munchies.
The father who is 102 years old has seen the ups and downs of life, he had his share of happiness and grief, he knows that he has few years left to see the bright sunlight, but he is still living each day with joy and bliss. He has no complaints, no grief and no pain from relationships or from anyone for that matter he is in a very happy zone.
While his son who is 75 years old lives in his shell, is extremely particular about things and get agitated if things don’t fall the way he desires, is stuck to a dead relationship with his son, is unable to forgo the loss of his spouse, he has cocooned himself.
The father is detached while son is lonely.
There is a fragile line between being detached and being lonely.
Most people who have suffered a lot of pain in relationships or are emotionally hurt are heard saying – I am detached from X person, and his/her presence or actions don’t bother me anymore.
“This” type of detached person will be seen taking escape route from the situation, will talk less, stay introvert, gloomy, loss of interest in anything and everything, will pick things or will try to engage into activities which primarily are not his / her behavior traits.
This detached person is lonely which he/she fails to register or acknowledge.
The father was detached.
He was detached from the fact that he is old and danced his way out
He was detached from his fragile and aged body frame, hence lived as young as he could
He was detached from the nonexistent relationship (with his grandson) but cared for those who were with him (his son)
He was detached from rules and discipline that restricted him from staying happy, so he lived a carefree life
He was detached from emotional bonds but very sensitive when it came to taking care of his loved ones.
On the other side, 75-year-old son was, lonely
He was lonely in his thoughts so kept holding the dead relationship (with his son who didn’t even bother to come for his mother’s funeral)
He was lonely in his actions, so he found rules and regulations on day to day basis as a format to his life
He was lonely within so he kept the old thoughts, memories, episodes locked in him thereby restricting himself to think beyond anything else.
I conclude by two personality traits that if one can find that thin line between being detached and being lonely, then the battle of life becomes sorted and well managed.
I love the dialogue from the movie Jab we met by Kareena Kapoor, “Mera favorite game hai- Zindagi”(life, is my favorite game) and why not, we get just one life, make it large (Royal stag – on the rocks here )
Getting detached is to live life with passion, zeal, full of mistakes and then making up. Letting go bad thoughts. Loving to the fullest. Laughing uncontrollably. Taking risks. Accepting that I am not perfect, also recognizing the fact at times, I failed in relationships. Not a great mother. Not feeling guilty on the thought of disowning children (especially during summer break), thinking about own happiness, pursuing what I genuinely like. Keeping away bad ideas and only think of bright ones. Not holding on to what is gone but living in the moment.
The game of life is fantastic. Keep it rocking and rolling in the most excellent way possible.
                                               102 or not but never out – NEVER!

life

You can check for the movie story, details and plot here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/102_Not_Out