Let me be ME

“You all have to come home for this Diwali“, ordered mom and you very well know that you can’t mess with mom. So, like very obedient lamb we three brothers and sister adhered to her order.

We generally go for a family holiday during Diwali break and been practicing this for almost three years in a row now. We carry our diya and light it up in the hotel room as a symbolic representation for Diwali.

But this time we made no holiday plans and our flights landed at Bhopal (a city in Madhya Pradesh where my parents live). Just a day after the Diwali break of school, we were ready with our bags and all excited to go home for Diwali.

I was going home for Diwali after thirteen years!

We were the first family to arrive and a day after eldest brother and his family from Delhi were also home.

My boys always get overexcited once they are at their nana’s house, the reason being – “nana, has such a huge house mamma, it’s like a resort.” Space crunched Mumbaikar knows the true value of space and a bungalow seems like a resort. I truly empathize with my boys here.

The resort cum bungalow now had eight adults and six children all in the range from thirteen to five years old, with my niece as the only eldest girl followed by five boys. No brownie points for guessing how noisy, chaotic, WWE favored, football lovers, over energetic and an utter mess it would be for the next couple of days.

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Each day was something different. Dhanteras, choti Diwali and then finally Diwali. We made paper lanterns to decorate the house, Rangoli to decorate the porch in order to impress goddess Lakshmi (most sought-after of all god fraternity). The best part was that my entire gang of hyperactive kids participated in the activity. We sat together, shared our colors, encouraged each other for doing good and it was such a positive environment.

Then came Diwali eve.

We in north India do elaborate Diwali puja and mom looks forward to making it grand. As we all got dressed up for Diwali my boys were quite dazed by all the rituals around. They had almost forgotten the nuances around Diwali puja . Drawbacks of holidaying during Diwali break.

It was a wonderful Diwali eve followed by token phuljhari and sumptuous dinner.

Next day we all went to watch “Golmal Again.” Ok, I agree it was a horrible decision but you see being a parent is not easy and we have to kill our happiness several times for our children and we nicely did it again. Kids loved the movie as well as the popcorns, fighting and quarreling over that last bite as famished, never-seen-food type children. I discounted all this because more than the movie I enjoyed the atmosphere of the movie hall.

It was then I realized the difference between A class and B class city. Sharing my observation.

As we entered the movie although it was INOX it appeared as if it’s a higher version of a small, not so well maintained local theater. Truly, I wasn’t too pleased with the first look. But I was happy to sit next to Som (my husband) all through the movie after a very long time because my boys ganged with their cousins. The movie started and went on without tickling me at all. I wasn’t surprised that all the children of the family were laughing their heart out moreover mimicking each other.

I wasn’t interested in neither to watch nor laugh on the dialogues of the so-called family –blockbuster-rib tickling-movie. Som and I were happy sitting holding hands and talking with each other (which we rarely do otherwise). Moments later, both of us unanimously said, “What a wonderful environment to watch a movie”.

The crowd in the hall was thoroughly enjoying the movie, bursting out in bouts of laughter which I found not even worth smiling. An aged person sitting right behind me seemed paid by Rohit Shetty(Director of the movie) to laugh at each dialogue. The crowd was cheering, getting into loud laughter and eatables were continuously pouring in.

When the movie finished and as we moved out of the hall, I observed that most of the people came in large groups like full family with grandparents and grandchildren as well. They all were happy with the movie and were giggling over the most stupid dialogues I had ever heard.

I came to watch the movie while they came to enjoy.

I came back home and pondered over on why I found the environment of the movie hall so attractive and compared this to movie hall in A grade city.

Movie halls in Mumbai are plush, spacious, best sound effects, best in customer service, a variety of food and very attractive. But I have rarely seen people bursting out in fits of laughter even at funniest dialogues. We are too sophisticated you see. I have not seen big groups coming for a movie. Going solo is very common. I have not even seen or heard people in the hall clapping. (leave aside me because I do this in most of the movies and my husband kind of disowns me for that very moment)

The metros have their own charm to stay but we are largely disconnected with each other giving the reason of hectic work schedule, long distance to commute, busy lives and only a weekend to rest. We run very short on time. Our daily life is mechanical and clocked.

Friends if any rarely talk to each other leave aside meetings. Whatsapp is the only way to communicate that too if one has time will respond. Before a call, we need to ask, “Can I call.” Surprise visits are a total NO. Visiting and exchanging gifts plus savories with neighbors is not a common practice.

Children learn so much with each other which no summer camp can teach. Sharing things, settling their own quarrel, learning to eat on their own, trying new dishes without making a fuss, enjoying their childhood the way they should without being judged or checked, speaking in their comfortable language than being pressurized to speak only in English, wishing Namaste than Hello to guests, pooling in money to get a football for a game than each child getting his/her own football. Listening to all stories from grandparents and the best part to see when their mom is checked and scolded by Nani but she can’t answer back. Finally, they see someone who can do that to their mom!

People are not judged by the kind of clothes they wear or how fluently English is spoken but the manner in which they adjust in a family. Family culture and values are kept at a higher pedestal. Even Som commented that I get fully covered whenever I am in Bhopal. Shorts, sleeveless and hot pants don’t know their existence but it doesn’t bother me as long as I am comfortable in what I am wearing.

Shifting to a B town will be a tough task because of job prospects and various other reasons but celebrating festivals together is a must do. I have silently made a promise to come home for Diwali each year to live and cherish each relation deeply.

 

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The great big family

 

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